Jail Break
by amor vincit omnia
Summary: Alice, Bella and Rose go out for Bellas hens night and get up to some mischief! When Alice and Bella are arrested the Cullens must come up with a plan to break them out! R&R!
1. Preparation

**A.N- Ok this is a completly random story I came up with when I was utterly bored! It's a bit slow this chapter but trust me its going to get funny! For any one who has watched 'Viva La Bam' remember season one the scavenger hunt! Ok please read and review tell me what you think! Dont judge this chapter its just getting the ball rolling! I do promise there will be some regretful things in chapter 2 and some hilarious Cullen plotting later on!**

* * *

**Saturday, 21****st**** June 2008, 3am**

**5 hours after arrest**

Moonlight was seeping through the small window at the top of the cell. The bars on the window created distorted shadows that played across the concrete walls. Alice and I sat across from each other on uncomfortable mattresses.

"Well this sucks," I muttered as we stared at each other before bursting into a fit of hysterics.

"You have to admit it was worth it!" She objected stifling the last of her giggles.

"Hey this is my first time in jail; I'm new to this all!" I pouted crossing my arms a smile still playing on my lips.

"Ah it's all easy stuff; nothing to worry about. We'll get out of here… eventually." She sighed falling back into the bed with a soft thud staring up at the ceiling.

Silence followed as we both thought things through.

I began idly spinning my ring as the diamonds sparkled in the soft moonlight. I smiled; I had only had the engagement ring a few days but already I was used to it weighing down my finger. My smiled broadened as I broke the silence looking over at Alice sheepishly.

"It was worth it." I admitted as we both began laughing again.

"Oi you two, shut up!" A guard called out angrily as we covered our mouths trying to keep quiet. I looked up at the clock in the stations office; it read 3am exactly. I sighed internally; it had been over 5 hours that we had been stuck in this tiny cell together.

Time seemed to drag by but I knew if it was 5 hours with anyone else it would have gone so much slower. It had all started with an innocent night out on the town…

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**Friday, 20****th**** June 2008, 7am **

**15 hours before arrest**

Everything was dark. Everything was silent. Everything was peaceful. It was perfect.

I was slowly waking up to another day in Edwards's large bed; the heavy curtain let no light in so I had no idea what time it was. My mind drifted in and out refusing to completely wake up. Right now I was very content lying in Edward cold arms with my eyes firmly shut. I heard the faint click of the door opening and closing followed by near silent foot steps creeping along the room. My sleepy mind didn't process the meaning until it was too late.

I let out a yell in protest and surprise as the bright morning sun broke through the blinds and blinded me without warning. I heard Edward mumbled something angrily as I sat up looking around dazed. My vision was blurred as my eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

"What the hell…?" I cried out in objection. A flash of black spikes bobbed around me; I recognised the voice before I saw who it was.

"Wake up Bella we have a big day ahead of us. There's no point wasting it on something as pointless as _sleep_!" Alice cried running around the room grabbing at clothes and opening more windows.

"I'm sorry Alice but unlike you I actually do SLEEP!" I called out as she flew out of the room. I lay back down dazzled by so much sudden activity. Edward put his arms around me smiling.

"You might want to get up she has a lot of plans and she's not going to be happy if you don't follow. Trust me it's going to be a lot easier if you just do what she says."

He was out of bed and at my side before I had a chance to notice as he gently pried me out of the soft sheets.

"But I don't wanna get up…" I mumbled rubbing my sleepy eyes staggering on my feet. He caught me from hitting the ground just as Alice suddenly raced in.

"There's no time for romance today Edward; I'm going to have to take her away for the rest of the day." He opened his mouth to object before she shushed him, grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me away.

"Edward…" I called after him still groggy but he was gone, "What's happening Alice?"

Her innocent smile told me I didn't want to know the answer as she spoke.

"Well I'm giving you a make-over today! Remember were going out for your hens night tonight!"

I remembered her telling me about tonight but it was months ago. She hadn't brought it up since so I had completely forgotten. I cringed at the thought of an entire day of an Alice make-over, Edward was right; it would be much easier to just do what she wanted.

"Can I at least get some breakfast?" I pleaded; it would mean I got at least a few minutes with Edward today.

"Already sorted," she replied almost smugly as she sat me down in the bath room chair. I sighed as I realised there was a table next to me with cereal fruit and even pancakes.

"You cooked pancakes?" I asked sceptically having a weird mental image of Alice cooking. Her soprano laugh filled the room as she shook her head.

"Of course I didn't! I ordered all the food in last night; I knew you would want pancakes today."

She was good; too good.

I ate my breakfast in irritable silence as she fluttered around me. She ran in and out of the room bringing in different assortments of clothing; trying to create the perfect outfit. She finally ran back in pushing clothes into my hand. I looked down at her choice dubiously; a plain top and trackies.

"There very nice Alice but isn't it meant to be a hens night?" She laughed again doubling over as if I had said something hilarious.

"No silly; these are you clothes to wear while I give you a make-over! You didn't think I would even let you leave the house in those did you!" My mouth hung open; it had taken her that long for just what I would wear while getting the make-over! It was going to be a very long day…

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I closed my eyes trying to relax as Alice talked to Rose about nail polish colours. It had seemed like I had been stuck in this stupid chair for hours! Alice had managed so far to put my hair in curlers, spread an assortment of creams on my face and now begin to paint my nails. Every decision took at least 30 minutes to choose the perfect product and not 10 minutes in I had given up paying attention.

"Bella it's perfect; you look gorgeous!" Alice squealed in delight jumping up and down as I walked in showing them the dress.

They had decided to put me in a low cut black cocktail dress. Its V-neck was decorated with sequins and was held up with spaghetti straps. My hair had been curled and cascaded down my back. I didn't know how long I would be able to walk in the strappy heels with out falling over but I didn't complain; they looked good.

I sighed in relief as Rose gave me the nod of approval; it was over!

We walked down the stairs as the boys let out a low whistle in appreciation. I hurried over to Edward trying not to fall over; he started at my wide eyed.

"Wow…" he muttered as I spun around, "Remember this is your hens party you're getting married so don't run off with some other guy!" He laughed his arms snaking around my waist. Kissing me softly he grudgingly let me go as I ran to the car.

"Don't do anything stupid…" he mouthed as I hopped in excited. What could possibly go wrong?

I got in the car as Alice and Rose hunched over a piece of paper. I looked over doubtfully at the typed print.

"What's this?" I asked reading through it; it was a list of some sort.

"You didn't think we would let you have some boring old hen's night did you?" Alice mocked raising an eyebrow. "This is our 'scavenger hunt list'."

When I didn't say anything she explained further rolling her eyes.

"Basically it's a list of random, naughty and just plain weird things. We split up and do as many of them as we can, who ever does the most wins!"

I wasn't convinced and I felt rolls of dread as I read through the list; this was soo going to get us arrested!


	2. The List

**A.N okay here another chapter. Its actually quite fun writing this! Please review and tell me what you think! Also if you can think of any other random things to add to the list please do share; the list is going to come up a bit more... tell me what you want to see them do!!**

**Friday, 20****th**** June 2008, 6pm **

**4 hours before arrest**

**The 'List'**

1. Swap clothes with a stranger

2. Get a piggy back from a stranger

3. Kiss a stranger

4. Kiss a girl

5. Table top dance

6. Throw a drink in someone's face

7. Strip tease

8. Start a fight

9. Be the cause of a fight

10. Flirt with a police officer

11. Get arrested

12. Make as much of a scene about it as possible

13. Start a sing-along

14. Break out in song

15. Play golf

16. Do the time warp

17. Throw something at a cop car

18. Throw an egg

19. A rotten egg

20. Crowd surf

20. Run from the cops

I read through the list warily, I laughed at some and protested others. How on earth had they thought of these things? I finished reading as looked up at them both suspiciously. Rose simply pointed at Alice shrugging in confusion.

"You're crazy" I mumbled folding the paper and putting it in my handbag. "Seriously twisted. Edward would KILL me!"

This only seemed to rev Alice as we walked into the club. The blaring music hit me as soon as we stepping in. It blasted out thumping beats from all directions giving me a headache. We stood on the top floor which was more like a balcony looking over the dance floor. Around us couches were grouped and couples sat drinking the night away. We grabbed the nearest free one as decided on an action plan.

"I can't do this!" I decided putting the list on the table.

Alice and Rosalie only smirked as a bartender walked over carrying a plate of tequila shots. I looked on wide eyed as he put them on the table.

"Drink up!" Alice cried handing me a few shots.

"Are you INSANE!" I stuttered looking at the shots.

"Oh please, it's the only way we can get you to have any fun!" Rose mocked me. I narrowed my eyes and took down two shots in a row. I felt the alcohol go straight to my head; everything seemed to dull down. All my worries about before seemed to melt away; I was ready for anything! I slammed the shots glasses down and looked at them excitedly.

"Let's do this!"

"I'm taking the right side of the dance floor ladies" Rose called out and quickly disappeared. Alice turned to me a glint in her eye.

"What do you think about teaming up?" she asked cheekily, I winked back at her.

"Your on Alice," we stood up and raced down the steps to the dance floor.

People were dispersed around; this only made our job easier. Alice was jumping excitedly around me taking in everybody.

"Who's our first target?" she called out for the benefit of my human hearing.

"Them" I called back pointing at two guys looking like they were trying to pick up some girls.

"Perfect, I think we could get a lot of points with these guys!" She looked over at me smirking mischievously.

We started walking over to them meaningfully as Alice hissed under her breath.

"Number three; number three!!" I nodded subtly as they guys noticed us heading their way.

I walked up to the guy on the right. He looked me up, lingering on my chest. His copper hair reminded me of Edwards: It sat all over the place as if he had just gotten out of bed. He was quite tall and seemed to tower over me like Jacob. A smile spread across his features as his blue eyes bore into mine once they finally reached my face.

"Hey," he said trying to act confident.

"Do you mind?" I asked innocently looking up with big innocent eyes.

"Do I mind what?" he asked confused, I smiled wickedly and lunged. My mind was still in a haze from the shots so I stumbled a little but I still hit my target. Our lips met in the middle and it all started from there. He seemed a little shocked at first but after that second of confusion he was very much enjoying himself. He wasn't nearly as good a kisser as Edward but it didn't matter; it was all for the scavenger hunt. His hands went to my waist and started to travel down to my ass. I pulled away from him and looked up in shock; he didn't need to know I was only acting.

"Not on the first kiss!" I said in fake anger as I grabbed a drink from a near by dancer and threw the liquid in his face storming off. I smiled as I heard him mutter 'wow' and stand there frozen. Alice caught up with me a few seconds later laughing. We turned back to see both guys still standing where we left them dripping wet. We high-fived in the spirit of things and moved back to our couch.

I took another two shots as we looked over the list. Alice's eyes lit up as she smiled an idea coming to mind.

"I think we could make fourteen and sixteen into one." She said and explained her idea. I smiled and nodded in agreement as we headed back to the dance floor. Alice ran over to the DJ as I watched on excitedly. She managed to undo a few buttons on her dress and after a bit of 'persuading' he agreed to our idea. The music came to a halt as he fumbled with a few cd's.

"You ready?" She whispered as we stood in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone had stopped dancing as was looking up at the DJ confused.

_It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely, not for very much longer  
I've got to keep control_

Everyone watched on as we danced in sync the exact moves to the Time Warp; it showed just how many times we had watched Rocky Horror. A small circle surrounded us as the chorus began.

"Join in guys!" Alice yelled out enjoying herself.

_It's just a jump to the left  
And then a step to the right  
With your hands on your hips  
You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again!_

By the end of the chorus almost the entire club was doing the actions at once. I laughed along with Alice. The song ended and the normal music began again. Everyone was laughing and cheering as we bowed and walked off the dance floor once again.

"That was AWESOME!" I called to Alice feeling flustered.

"Fourteen and sixteen are complete!"

The rest of the night progressed like this; the stunts getting crazier and crazier as it got later and later. We crowd surfed, had a half strip tease after we convinced some girls to swap dressed with us and ever have some guys get in a fight over us. Another hour passed and we had almost finished the list; that was when it all went down hill. We were searching for more victims when a pair of male police officers approached us.

"Number ten!" Alice whispered as they came over.

"Hello officers, what can we do for you?" She asked innocently fluttering her eyelashes. The officer didn't take the bait as he held onto his blank expression.

"We're here to take you back to the station; word is you've been very disruptive." We both stared at him shocked; surely it hadn't been that bad!

"Excuse me?" she asked trying to sound as sweet as possible.

"You better come with us."

"I think not!" She exclaimed and grabbed my arm before we bolted. "TWENTY!" She squealed as we ditched our heels and ran through the crowds. We made it to the middle of the dance area when they decided to get aggressive and dive tackled us. I hit the floor with a crunch as people around us booed. We were picked up gruffly and hand cuffed. The crowd made a circle around us and booed louder. This defiantly counted as making a scene! The police ignored this as we were dragged off outside. We yelled out to everyone and we left; I hadn't had this much fun in ages.

"I have number nineteen in my bag can you get it?" Alice whispered to me as the police let a stand in the street while the opened the car door. I scooted over and opened her hand bag. It was harder than it looked with my hands cuffed in front of me. I cringed as I felt what I was looking for; a rotten eggs.

"You saw this coming!" I hissed at her and took aim.

"3, 2, 1 FIRE!" she called out as I threw the eggs at the car the hit perfectly smashing against the window and instantly stinking the area up. The police glared at us and shoved us in the car.

"Just another thing to add to your list!" One barked as we laughed; he was funnier than he knew.


	3. Calling

**AN. Wow I feel so guilty. I actually forgot about this story until the lastest stoery alert was added sorry guys! Okay short chapter but I promise I'll make it up to you! More chapters will be coming in (Holidays soon which equals lots of spare time) Hope you like it as always please review!**

**Friday, 20****th**** June 2008, 11pm**

**1 hour after arrest**

If Alice knew anything it was how to do something in style. We arrive at the station and went through the works. Our mug shots, finger prints everything! Once we were officially put into the police database we were given a cell number we would be spending the night in.

Walking down the corridor to our cell was not as scary as I planned for. There were only 10 other cells full of drunks and some very angry looking people. I sighed in relief; at least I wouldn't be dying in here!

We sat around and every so often Alice would get another vision. I felt like there was an inside joke going on that I didn't get. She'd come out of it in hysterics. Every time I asked she told me to wait; supposedly it would be funnier that way.

"Here Bella," She said casually throwing me a small object. I grabbed it and fumbled until I realised what it was.

"My phone? How did you get this past the guar..."

"Shh; just wait…" she seemed to concentrate before looking at me smiling "3, 2, 1 and calling."

Just as she spoke my phone began to vibrate. I looked back at her confused but she just winked putting her finger to her lips.

"Keep it quite"

I nodded still confused as I looked down at the caller ID; it was Edward.

"Edward" I whispered into the phone.

"Oh Bella thank god! Where are you what happened?"

"We ah… well there was a list and we were… Alice and I… we got… arrested." I felt a blush creep up my neck as I prepared for the worst.

"Arrested! Bella how on earth did that happen? Did Alice rope you into all this? Oh no… your not in jail are you!"

I could hear Alice laughing in the back ground as she listened in to the conversation.

"I didn't do anything Edward" she muttered as if to herself. I heard Edward laugh back; stupid vampire hearing.

"Okay Bella can you please explain how this all happened."

"This ought to be good" I heard Alice laugh and I could help giggling myself.

"Really Edward I think it would be better if you didn't just know yet."

It was as if I could feel him cringe over the phone before he continued.

"Okay well I'll try and talk to the station and see if we can get you out tonight but if we can't…" His voice trailed off as I heard Emmett boom in the background.

"JAILBREAK!"

"Emmett really there is no need for any illegal talk right now. Cant you focus on the seriousness of this all for just one second!" Edward ranted holding the phone away but Emmett continued to laugh.

"Edward really we're fine just… do whatever you can and we'll just hang tight okay?" I tried to keep the smile out of my voice.

"Of course you're right. Ill call back soon, I love you."

"I love you too"

"Take care of her Alice" He said before hanging up.

I sighed lying back on the bed; now Edward was out of reach again I was reminded of the situation and small cell I was in.

"What now?" I asked Alice flopping exhausted as my stomach growled angrily.

"Food," she stated matter-of-factly before walking up to the door. I looked at her questioningly worried about the mischievous grin playing on her perfect features.

"Do I even want to ask?"

"Probably not…" She turned to me grinning, "But heres the plan"

How did I always end up getting sucked into these things? It seemed no matter what was happened Alice would spin everything on its head and I would find myself doing the most ridiculous thing. Alice had hitched my already outrageously short dress even higher adjusting hers in the same manner. Shed managed to pull more makeup from somewhere and given me the final touch up before explaining anything.

"When you can't get something flirt for it." She said happily as she rattled the bars gently.

"This is so not going to work" I muttered rolling my eyes before joining her side.

It wasn't long before a guard was standing in front of us wanting to know what all the fuss was about.

"Yeah" He barked gruffly; Alice didn't seem to notice as she raised her leg up exposing a perfect thigh. Her eyes flashed to his name tag before she began.

"Hi there Todd," She started flashing him a perfectly charming smile. "I was just wondering if there's anything around to eat; my friend as I are… famished." She finished with licking her lips suggestively keeping eye contact. His tough exterior vanished as he fumbled to connect words he ran his hands through his messy brown hair I was sure I could see beads of sweat forming. Alice was good; too good.

"I'm … ahh I'lll… I'll try to find you something…" He was about to stutter as Alice winked; with that he vanished to dumbstruck to know what was happening.

"What would Jasper say…?" I shook my head disapprovingly at her smiling. It wasn't long until the guard returned carrying a large plate of food.

I smiled at Alice when he left nodding in agreement. I guess I could get used to this.


End file.
